a point was made to me today
i can’t nail myself to the cross.
it’s pointless and quite simply impossible.
this rock i’m under provides no comfort;
i knew it wouldn’t, but i still hid.
these layers come with seasons passing
and i want to shed this skin i’m in.
i’ve traveled this road a million times, but
i keep forgetting where i’ve been.
this isn’t where i want to be,
it’s dark and cold and silent.
i don’t desire what i once wanted
and i give up…. i give up.
what have i done and where have i gone?
this all just seems to be surreal.
i can’t recall where i went wrong;
and i’ve opened wounds that haven’t healed.
please help me stop this hemorrhaging
i fear what the bleeding will reveal.
this isn’t where i want to be,
it’s dark and cold and silent.
i don’t desire what i once wanted
and i give up…. i give up.
i needed strength that i could not provide myself,
but i tried and unknowingly offered up, thinking that i could deliver.
and watching that storm coming i raced to the top of the highest hill
and raised my hands…
now i give up… i give up.
