i am still a f***in’ mess…
“Jesus answered, The first and principal one of all commands is: Hear, O Israel, The Lord our God is one Lord; And you shall love the Lord your God out of and with your whole heart and out of and with all your soul (your life) and out of and with all your mind (with your faculty of thought and your moral understanding) and out of and with all your strength. This is the first and principal commandment. The second is like it and is this, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.” -Mark 12:29-31 (AMP)
i shaved with soap. now my knees are burning.
sorry. that was kinda random.
but yeah. i am still a mess.
all this stuff going on is craziness and i can’t think straight.
i sit at green lights because i’m off in never never land.
ugh.
i just want it all to calm down for a little while maybe.
i want to just be.
but it seems i need to earn something like that these days.
and everytime i think something is bound to give…
it’s all the more intense instead.
ugh.
i wish this wasn’t all so difficult.
but then again it’s what taking up your cross means.
everyone’s cross is different in all ways.
but… what is true is that it is the single most difficult thing to bear.
i mean think about Jesus…
now do you catch my drift???
but what i must keep in mind is exactly that.
all that love shown on the cross.
would i let Jesus die for nothing?
HELL NO!!!
so, yes. i will love Jesus the most and forever.
and yes. no matter what. i will love his children as well just the same.
easier typed than done. 
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