i am awake. i am alive.

By: thelovelylo

Jun 30 2006

Category: Uncategorized

6 Comments

i am going to publish this just to get people opinions and see viewpoints. in fact. i will not be replying to comments with any beliefs or any of my viewpoints. just because. i want to know what YOU people think. that is all. and i hope whoever wrote this will not take any offense. i will not be posting their name. this is clearly for whoever wants to read and post a comment. also… i will post their reply when i get it… but i will not be replying back. so, you should check back when you can.

LET IT ALL OUT!!!

THEIR ENTRY
this city is so draining. I have no motivation and haven’t for a while.

No offense, but i can’t wait to get out of atlanta and away from all of these christians. I’m tired of their advise, and i’m tired of hearing them talk about it. I never thought i’d say this, but it really does offend me.

It just seems like people would be more grounded than what they are. I mean incase you have forgotten, there is no universal truth that we know of yet. Just because you have faith, or just because you choose to believe in something, doesn’t make it an absolute truth. And especially not just because you feel it’s right. I just don’t want to live my life and put something as top priority in my life if no one can even prove it’s real. And saying, “well there’s no way to explain why all of this is here” does not mean that God did it or that he exist. Truth is, is that you really don’t know anymore than any of the other 8 billion people in this world. You just made some choice and went with it. Just because I choose to believe that the lockness monster really exist despite the fact that no one has actually proven it, doesn’t mean that i’m right, because there’s no way i can prove it. However, being 2006, and with satellite technology, i’m sure we could find a big as fuck monster that lives in a fucking lake with ease. Yeah so we can’t explain how on particle can exist in two different places at the same time and how and why particles enter and exit existence. Where do those particles go? they have to go somewhere or become something. But just because you can’t explain it doesn’t mean that there is a God and that there are somethings we will never understand because god is so mysterious. Do we really need a truth? Seems like there are bigger things to be worrying about. I’d love someone to prove to me an absolute truth without saying the words “because I believe.” I’d love it. I don’t mind being wrong because I usually am.

MY REPLY #1: this isn’t advice… just something i would like to share from my heart…
as far as God and the devil… heaven and hell… sorry to break it to you… but all you have to do is read the Word if you want to know. all the answers are there if you’re seeking them. it’s difficult at times to wrap your head around it. but it’s all there. as simply put as it can be. and sorry if you are looking toward fellow christians for an example. you’re not always going to find good examples that way. and you shouldn’t expect that anyway. i don’t claim to know anything. i don’t know much at all in comparison to all the things of this world.

but the truth is needed. dig deep down inside you… you know you need it. you wouldn’t be posting any of this if not.

the truth is clear and accessible. it’s just not always easily acceptable.

THEIR REPLY TO ME #1: Re: this isn’t advice… just something i would like to share from my heart…
oh i’ve totally heard this one, I’ve said it and meant it with my whole heart. And you’re not breaking any news to me This is sunday school 1 on 1. yeah i totally disagree with you. It’s a heart throbbing thought to throw out for anyone who is desperate enough to believe anything. There is no fruity truth in myself and just because you say so doesn’t mean it’s true. Where’s your proof? The bible is your proof? So two of every animal can fit on a boat? YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED!!!!? For me to believe any of that there would have to be desperate NEED for an escape from reality. Which there was when I was 15.

The truth is not clear and accessible, and has never been! Otherwise, everyone would know the truth. No one can prove anything at this point. and they won’t just because some christian says, “I know it in my heart” doesn’t mean shit in the world. You are talking about a personal truth, and there is no point in a personal truth if it’s actually not a universal truth. Which you can’t prove with anything you just said. Nothing has anything to do with what’s inside of me, it just has to do with hard cold fact. Not the reality that i create, but just what it is without me. But in my heart, i really don’t feel there is a god. And i’ve felt that way for years if we are going to talk about feelings.

MY REPLY #2: this is all i have to say…
i am not telling you what to believe. i am telling you what i believe. like i said… this isn’t advice. it is just what i think. “‘i know in my heart’ doesn’t mean shit” because… the world itself doesn’t matter. this is a temporary thing. all i know if from my personal experience. that’s all i CAN tell you. i don’t claim to know everything. that would be impossible and personally i wouldn’t want that kind of knowledge. it’s TOO much. i have limits. all i am saying is you better have a good grasp on what you are living for. or maybe i should say what you are dying for. and yes, i do believe a lot of the claim in the good book.

and the wonderful thing is… i don’t have to PROVE anything. i am not capable of it. nor do i believe that i will ever be capable of proving such things. nor do i even want to have that responsibility. why would i have to if God is who He claims to be?!

i will accept what you think. you have every right to. just like i have every right to believe what i do. as crazy and messed up as it sounds to you. i realize this stuff is a little difficult to wrap your head around. i struggle sometimes myself. then again… there’s a lot more i could learn.

the end.

THEIR REPLY #2: Re: this is all i have to say…
hmm, i don’t think you can just say “the end” like you just laid down the final word. Nor do i think you can drop a line “it’s a little difficult for you to wrap around your head.” Christianity is easy to believe and to wrap around your head, it’s just hard to justify that belief once you actually think about it outside of christian thinking. I mean, all you have to do is say ,”i’m not going to lean on my own understanding and i’m just going to have faith in this belief and there are somethings that i just can’t understand or explain.” Honestly, I think that’s cutting yourself short.

from what I understand the word “Christian” means “follower of christ.” If you are a follower of Christ than you must believe in the words of the christ that ” he is the truth, and the only way.” To believe in that kinda claim, you better be able to prove it because basically you are saying that this is the only way, and everything else is incorrect. I think it’s a pretty bold statement to say that everyone else is wrong and that you are right even though you have no proof for it, and you feel no need to prove it.

I can’t help but laugh at the words “Personal Faith.” Who doesn’t have personal faith? I’m sure those dudes crashing their planes into the world trade centers thought that what they were doing was absolutely right, and it was their own personal truth. Too bad all of those people died in vain because of those fuckers “personal faith.” Just because they believed something, doesn’t make it true. Just because you have a personal opinion, doesn’t make it truth or fact. It’s just something you believe. Well congratulations, you just picked a faith that “felt right” Not based on fact or anything else, just a couple of books that a couple of dudes put together.

Believe me, i thought the same way you did just a couple of years ago, i said the same things and had a very good understanding of what i was saying. Truth is, is that i couldn’t prove it. And in my book of standards, that made me look like an asshole for no reason. Just because I couldn’t understand how evolution could cause personalities in human beings i went looking for some mystical reason to explain it. Isn’t that what the romans, greek, and everyone else did?

I’m not saying that i can disprove the existence of god or that he did any of this, nor am i trying to prove that evolution put us here on the map. I’m just saying that there is no absolute truth in either that we know of yet. We probably won’t in my life time. So for now, i will dedicate my life to a list of standards of personal living. Which most of how I am living my life now is coming from eastern philosophies. Honestly, I think that’s all you can do. Find or create a list of standards you want to live up to, and carry them out. But as far as saying that something is fact, well… that’s kinda no ones place to say, because they don’t have the proof to back it and neither do you.

“and the wonderful thing is… i don’t have to PROVE anything” – so if you say 2+2=5 i’m just supposed to believe it just because you do without any proof? What kind of representative of Jesus can say that and sleep at night? You should do some more research before you throw out some heavy personal claims like that….

I mean no offense to you lorena, you know i think you are awesome, but what you are saying is exactly the thing that I want to stay as far away from. Faith just means you don’t have a fact. It just means that you believe but you don’t know. And I never want to be in those shoes although it looks like seeing there is no fact to stand on, i don’t have a choice, but i don’t have to go and make up reasonings for things that I don’t understand without being able to prove those reasonings.

MY LATEST REPLY
i wasn’t saying “the end” for the last word. i knew that you would reply. i wanted to hear you out. and i am glad that you did. (name witheld), i think you are awesome. seriously. i just wanted to share my view is all. i know that you will believe what you want and i will do the same. i just really want you to find what it is you are seeking. i have no idea what that is, but i like to share my views with people and i like to hear what they have to say about it. it definitely gives me plenty to think about. thanks so much for doing so. people tend to just either shut down or whatever. i at least hope that i get to see you before you do leave this town.