i am awake. i am alive.

By: thelovelylo

Jun 21 2006

Category: Uncategorized

1 Comment

“Let them exalt him also in the congregation of the people, and praise him in the assembly of the elders. He turneth rivers into a wilderness, and the watersprings into dry ground; A fruitful land into barrenness, for the wickedness of them that dwell therein. He turneth the wilderness into a standing water, and dry ground into watersprings. And there he maketh the hungry to dwell, that they may prepare a city for habitation; And sow the fields, and plant vineyards, which may yield fruits of increase. He blesseth them also, so that they are multiplied greatly; and suffereth not their cattle to decrease. Again, they are minished and brought low through oppression, affliction, and sorrow. He poureth contempt upon princes, and causeth them to wander in the wilderness, where there is no way. Yet setteth he the poor on high from affliction, and maketh him families like a flock. The righteous shall see it, and rejoice: and all iniquity shall stop her mouth. Whoso is wise, and will observe these things, even they shall understand the lovingkindness of the LORD.” -Psalm 107:32-43

barren.
(1) showing no results or acheivement
(2) bleak and lifeless
(3) empty of meaning or value
(4) too poor to produce much or any vegetation (of land)
(5) not producing fruit or seed (of a tree)
(6) not pregnant or able to become so (of a woman)

that is the word.
this is what life really seems like right now.
makes me really wonder what is going on behind the scenes.
i mean… i have been doing all kinds of things to prevent this from happening.
i really don’t know what else to do.

but… it doesn’t mean i don’t understand what is going on.
i realize why i have been brought to this point.
i realize what i am being shown.
a lot of people i know don’t understand this.
but… i do.

God is preparing me for something huge.
something that is going to pretty much blow my mind…
although i really don’t want to go through it.
i know i will never be the same.

i just wonder when it’s all going to come together.
when will the painting be finished?
when will i get to see the big picture?

i’m as ready as i can be…