i am awake. i am alive.

By: thelovelylo

Mar 15 2006

Category: Uncategorized

1 Comment

relationships.
everyone seems to be talking about them.

i’ve been thinking a lot lately about faith.
mainly my own faith.
my faith is based solely on my relationship with God.
and my relationships with the people in my life directly reflect how my relationship with God is.

christians, for the most part, disappoint me.

myself included. i am capable of disappointing people.
we are all human. we all have faults.
and i know that if i started asking people what they think of christians, they would agree for the most part.
people do not make good examples for Christ. period.

we all live in sin.
it’s inevitable. we are born this way.
sin is what separates us from God.
God hates sin.

on a scale… i am not really that bad compared to other people.
and compared to some… i am not the best example either.
and if i measure myself with the 10 commandments… i have broken every single one.

i am wretched.

but God still loves me despite how horrible i am.
that is such an amazing thing to me.
and i realize this is why satan hates me so much.
he is jealous because his original job was given to me… dirt.
i mean, if you were God’s most beautiful angel and given the most important job out of all of God’s creations and then(because of your vanity) you were thrown out of heaven and your job was given to a bunch of mud… wouldn’t you be pissed off?

yes. i believe so.

so, back to the main point.
i have a relationship with God because He sought me.
even though i deserve to die… He came down to this earth in the form of a man to suffer and die for me.
this was so that through Him… i could fulfill the purpose that i was created for… to have a personal relationship with Him and to glorify and worship Him.
we are the only creatures that are capable of doing this.

this is love.

the reason i can love is because God dwells in my heart.
it is not me that loves… it is Him.
i do no good thing.
i do what is good ONLY because of Him.

we are supposed to share this love with others.
i can’t be be fearful that i will disappoint others.
i can’t be scared of making mistakes.
i must live the way i know how through what i learn from God.
i must do my best to know and understand His Word(the bible).
i must be open, honest and genuine in my relationships with others.

why are we so scared to be ourselves?
why are we so scared to admit that we are naturallly sinful?
why can’t we just come as we are and offer the best we can?

this is what God asks of us… so why is it so hard to do when it comes to others?

after being hurt by someone i loved with all of my heart years ago… i promised myself that i would continue to stay open, honest and genuine. and no matter how i was perceived by others, no matter how much people hurt me anyway, no matter how much i fall on my face… i would continually seek God for my provision. i promised to trust Him. i promised to have faith in others because He does the same for me. i promised God that i would uphold the relationships that i was given by Him. i promised to always do my best to fulfill people’s needs.

i promised to never turn my back on God.