mmmm…
i have been under a lot of attack.
but that is expected.
i told mat tonight on the way home from work that i forgive him.
i forgave him a long time ago.
but i never told him out of fear.. and that left a place for anger to settle.
i was scared he would blow me off or he wouldn’t take me seriously.
and because of it… the anger would surface in my thoughts periodically.
why? why me? of all the people… why me?
but tonight, as i stumbled over my words, telling him i didn’t even know how to bring it up…
i simply said that i don’t remember ever telling him verbally that i forgave him.
he sounded shocked. and recalled that i hadn’t ever said those words.
i started to cry.
i cried because he was so humble.
he said that i didn’t have to. that i didn’t do anything wrong.
that i was a wonderful person.
and pretty much his truest friend.
wow.
that broke my heart.
but this time… my heart needed breaking.
