i am awake. i am alive.

Dear Satan,

I hate you very much… with all my heart.

Sincerely,
Lorena Vatle Taylor

so, i hate to be ignored and treated like a piece of crap.
i like people to confront me with the problems they have with the way i act.
i don’t like to have to figure it out.
i am not in the business of reading minds.
i am an adult.
although i still have a lot to learn.
i can communicate with the education i have been given.
i am a human being.
i have feelings.
but this kind of behaviour is ridiculous.
and especially coming from a christian.
my indignation is like a lit match slowly being consumed…
and i will not let up.
i will continue to acknowledge your existence.
i will continue to ask you why it is you aren’t talking to me.
i will continue to ask why it is you’re ignoring me.
the way you are treating me isn’t fair.
but then again i guess life isn’t fair.
or maybe you just don’t know how to handle relationships well.
i mean… this wouldn’t be the first time i have witnessed you do this to someone.
but then again… there’s not a whole lot i can do about that either.
i just hope that someday you will learn to not just ignore the problems you face.
i think maybe you just need more time to cool off or think about it,
but then again… that shows signs of much needed growth.
i’m not saying i am a perfect person
or i know how to ideally handle situations in relationships all the time…
i am just saying that i don’t know what i did wrong.
i don’t know what i did to upset you.
and i can’t read minds.
so until you tell me…
deal with me doing whatever “it” is again.
it’s likely to happen i guess.
and deal with me continuing to ask you if you are going to talk to me…
if you’re going to continue to ignore me…
if i will get an answer for the questions i ask…
and i will ask everyday that i possibly can.
just because i haven’t spoken to God everyday of my life…
doesn’t mean He didn’t, in some way, ask me to everyday of my life to speak to Him…

besides…
we live under the same roof.
how long can you keep this up?
i’m curious…

i love spending quality time with people i love. God is good.

and that’s really awesome because i couldn’t go home for thanksgiving.
i was really bummed.
my mom called the day before to tell me she was cooking and to hurry up and leave atlanta…
that it would be ready when i got to pensacola.
i love her… she’s cute.
but it also made me sad… first thanksgiving with no immediate family.
makes me feel so disconnected sometimes.
i feel like such a baby sometimes thinking how much i really miss my family.

but… thank God for church family.
i spent thanksgiving with my church… it was amazing.
about 20 people and a wonderful dinner, most of which was made from scratch.
that is amazing!!! and it was extremely delicious.
they are amazing people. all of them.
all transparent. all great examples of christians.
so full of God’s love… and so on fire for God’s purpose.
it really shows in their lives…
just real.
it’s been nothing but a blessing.
i mean… it helps me keep my faith in Him
and more importantly…
other people.

after that, it was off to dawsonville to visit my bffs.
i love those boys so much. they’re just a great bunch of guys.
(and i do mean bunch… 6 in 1 house)
i also met some great family and friends who were visiting…
some really great girls.
good talks about God and life.
t-shirt making.
risk and scrabble.
liono and gunner… the new milo and otis.
photo adventures.
awesome music. and i do mean “awe”some.
an engagement.
tetris.

i didn’t come home all weekend.
i didn’t want thanksgiving to end.

among the other things going on in my life that i frequently want to forget about…
…i have so much to be thankful for.
and i thank Almighty God for all of it.