i am awake. i am alive.

By: thelovelylo

Oct 15 2005

Category: Uncategorized

5 Comments

hahaha!

ok.
so… i have come to a conclusion in this whole situation.
(i.e. the situation of my life)

what am i doing?
i promised God that i would calm the heck down.
and that i would focus on Him.
that His plans and purpose for me will come to full fruition.

and what have i done?
i have let things get to me and start to attack me again.
that’s what i get for not keeping my armor, helmet, shield and sword on me.

i feel like an idiot once again.

so.
i am going on a mission trip to albania.
i leave the 18-26.
that is a good chunk of time.

it will be the first of many projects i will start to execute.
this is what i should have been doing all along.

and i don’t know where this will lead.
i am excited.

so.
vacation from being lazy. (there is so much i want to get done and don’t make time for)
vacation from school. (which will make me go insane when i come back)
vacation from confusing relationship drama. (which i am still confused about)

i think the latter will be a permanent vacation.
at least this particular situation.
there is just a lack of communication.
so i have been left to just be pensive.
i should just be thankful to the Lord for friendship and fellowship.
i shouldn’t have to try and figure things out.

i don’t want to ruin God’s plan.
because i deserve the best.

and i need to sacrifice.
i need to be passionate.
it’s the only way to get the best.

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS:
sorry, i didn’t get to thank you for the talk we had a little while ago.
but i am glad to have someone to talk to.
someone smart and witty and real.
you have been a blessing and have become one of my better friends.
i thank God for that.

and i also thank God for mermaids.