this way that i feel
i sit here and wonder what i’m doing.
i sit here and think of all the things i’ve done.
the transition of
questions
that run through my head.
i’ve run away with myself
again.
the constant circles are too much.
and i have run out of breath.
i feel like my strength has left.
and this depth…
it’s all so much lower.
i remind myself of the past.
i remind myself that this won’t last.
that this too…
shall pass.
and in my inward exhortation
i find peace.
but i know that in ten minutes
that will change.
change like my views,
my thoughts,
my hair,
my underwear,
everything around me,
and everything about me…
they all change.
and i find it rather strange
that i am running once again.
my legs are weak…
my mouth is dry…
and my brain is numb
from all this running.
so i sit.
i sit.
i sit.
i sit.
now my ass is numb.
guess i better put on those running shoes again.
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ask yourself
is this what i think i should be doing?
or
is this what i feel like i should be doing?
because mostly, at least for me,
the heart leads further than the mind.
my english teacher helped me realize it.
well… if you ask me, that all depends. you have to be careful.
Jeremiah 17:9
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Proverbs 4:7
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”
Psalm 119:99
“I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation.”
i was pointing out how i think a lot about my life and what i have done, where i’ve been, whom i’ve known…
i think over and over. i see the pattern at which my life progresses. i am reminded of where i was then and where i am now. it’s to remind me of what God has shown me. how the more i know Him the more i change. the more i grow. the more i have to reflect on. and the more i have to be thankful for. and it doesn’t matter how much i may know… i will never fully understand His holiness. i will always have more to learn.