be still…
yeah. so my week was pretty crazy. but it was quite alright. i think i have just told myself to get used to it.
im trying to work on my life.
its this sculpture that only sees a chisel every now and again. but i want it to be more often and continual. i want to be manipulated in such an intense way that i almost loose a chunk of myself… if that makes any sense.
yeah… im impulsive at times i guess. sorry… but God just put me in my place right now. ha…
ok… slowing down now.
the past week the Lord had reminded me of the past six months and what ive done, whom ive met, where ive been and what i set out to do. He will continually remind me. this time i have made sure of that. im on a mission. i have been for quite some time now. i will not fail. there is no room for failure. lives are at stake. i will do this if it kills me. in fact i want to die. i want to die for this. i want to die for them all. this is why i live. this is why i breathe. this is what i think of night and day. this is who i am…
my blade is dull.
my shield is cracked.
my breastplate is tarnished and rusted out.
how am i to fight this battle?
how will i prepare?
i cant fight this fight without You.
my arms are asleep and my courage escapes.
damn me if i dont try.
damn me if i give up.
and damn me if i dont cry out for Your strength and wisdom to guide me.
i need a sagacious plan.
and i need Your tenacity.
i need You now.
i always have and always will.
and You told me once.
and You will tell me again.
and i will continually turn to You.
Oh My Lord, My God…
